Last week the guard asked me if I wanted to change my restraints. He said I could get more movement in my legs but on the other hand I would have to have restrictions on my hands.
It would be a month-long trial. I did not have to agree to it, if I did not want it, all would continue unchanged. It was a very difficult decision because he did not tell me what that change would be. I really liked the idea of my feet having more space to move around, but at what cost? I think it’s stupid and annoying that they bullied me in this way. My decision would have been a lot easier if I knew all the facts!
This was a kind of power game, I had the “opportunity” to contribute to the future but they had the final say. But on the other hand, it also fascinated me, it was exciting to think about what they had planned. That’s why I decided to accept the change and probation.
The trial period began last Friday so I had the weekend to get used to the new constraints before the work week. I was a little nervous. My guard said that I did not need to be nervous and that the changes were not significant. He has never lied to me so I trusted him.
On friday I was given the new restraints. My hobble chain is back to normal length, it feels wonderful! In addition, the floor chain is twice as long, 60 cm.
The counter part is the fact that I have to wear handcuffs all the time. They have a long chain between them which goes through the lock at the back of my waist. Thus, when I use the right hand, the left must be behind my back. The chain can slide through the lock so that I can switch hands.
On Monday, I got a neoprene protectors under the cuffs, because the cuff movements hurt me too much. Now, I’m already used to them but they still annoy me. The chain is so short that it is difficult for me to do all the normal every day things.
I am able to touch my forehead, and to eat and drink with one hand. My hair is a problem, for example. the guard this morning had to put my hair in a ponytail. I am able to use the toilet paper, but I am having problems with my skirt and tights. I have to call the guard for help.
AT my desk I can use one (right) hand for the mouse and keyboard but I can not really extend it anywhere else. It’s infuriating.
Yesterday was a good example. The bottles of water were too far away from me … they were in the normal spot on the table but I could not get to them! It was not a big problem, in 4 hours it is not possible to die of thirst. It was an accident, the guard put them in the normal place, as always, and I did not notice it.
My feet are grateful! It is quite different to sit when you can move the legs, I feel like I have the freedom back! But still … I may not adopt this as a permanent arrangement, my left arm is now inactive, my wrist is held to the back of my waist nearly all the time. it causes me arm and shoulder / neck pain.
The guard’s opinion is that the arrangement makes moving me more simple. He needs only one lock to lock my hands, and he is able to easily regulate how free my hands are. He can also lock my wrists to the side of my waist chain.