It has been a very eventful few weeks. The first thing to report is that the trial of my new restraints and procedures has ended, and it has been decided that all restraints and rules from the trial will be continued ‘until further notice’. This means that I will need to adapt to wearing the corset, the back chain, the wall chain holding me in a seated position, the hobble chain being locked to the floor, and my new behaviour rules etc as a long term, daily reality.
Now that the trial has finished, and the few issues I had with the floor lock and the back chain have been fixed by the committee, I feel that I am comfortable with the idea that they will continue, both mentally and physically. I know that it is very strange but I feel a lot of safety and pleasure from the knowledge that I am locked in and taken care of. It helps me feel that nothing bad can hurt me, and for this feeling I’m willing to pay a lot. Chains, locks, routines, etc. are good things and a sign that all is well.
The corset is not too tight, and there is room to tighten it further in the future. It does restrict my movement especially as it is equipped with shoulder straps. On the other hand, as I sit a lot, it keeps me upright and my shoulders straight. I do not even need the backrest on my desk chair. In addition, I feel that the shoulder straps help reduce head and neck pain – if your seating position is loose and you turn your shoulders forward, it presses the nerves and cause problems.
So I do not have anything unpleasant to say about the corset! … Especially when it is designed and made for sitting. It brings with it limitations, but the most important thing to me is that it gives me a “long and a big hug,” it calms me down. I get real hugs very rarely. I am interested in serious tight lacing, it would fit well with my lifestyle and choices, but now is not the time for that. I do not have a say in how tight the corset is tightened – that is done by my guard, who has experience in tight lacing.
Perhaps my biggest problem with all of these changes is not the actual restraints at all, but more the knowledge that this is not “normal”. The idea of wanting or needing such things is still something I have difficulty with. On the other hand, the deeper I go, the less I feel like I have to explain my choice to live this life.
The most difficult aspect of all the new rules and procedures is the rule that I cannot speak without permission. This week there has been a very significant change in my life, in that my usual guard has left. I knew this was going to happen for some time, but did not know when. It seems the new speech rules were introduced to prepare me for my new guard, who is much more strict than my previous guard. She is very business-like and simply comes and moves me from one tether point to another not allowing me to speak. When her work is finished she asks me if I have anything to say. That is all. She is very stern, although I know her for a long time and for that reason I trust her.
Last Sunday, which was the day she became my full time guard, I did not follow the speech rules properly because I was asking for information about my old guard. For this reason I was punished by having a week without the internet and my monthly orgasm day was cancelled. I also have a ball gag attached all the time to my waist chain as a reminder that it will be used on me if I do not comply.
So as there is no end time to these new restraints and procedures, my Rules and Procedures page is being updated to reflect the way I am now restrained and dealt with every day. An updated rules and procedures page will soon be ready.
Life prisoner Miisa Karlsson